Money Bags
Once upon a time, about 8 years ago John and I were watching the news on Thai TV. I don't really know why because neither of us understood a word of Thai, and in those days there was no UBC or satellite digital whats its names, but anyway, I guess we were bored with drinking all day and decided to look at some pictures. So here we were looking at this TV screen in a state of numbness, not really understanding what on earth was going on and during the news broadcast there was a big story involving what looked like the Royal Thai navy and a couple of fishing boats. The camera roamed over the fishing boats and a naval officer was pointing out lots of holes, which were obviously made by a very large calibre machine gun. Although impressed by the damage, neither of us understood what the boats had been intercepted for, so we soon forgot about it..... Sem the Thai barman (oops, we were in a bar after all !!) told us that these fishing boats had been doing a deal at sea, transferring money and drugs from boat to boat, and had, unfortunately for them, been set upon by the Thai Navy. They couldn't prove anything as everything went over the side, so there was a row developing between the Thai navy and the Ambassador representing the country of the foreign vessel that had been riddled with holes. As I said we soon forgot about it and about 4 days later we heard another story from Mui, who lives down the beach from us. Mui came tearing into the bar on her Honda dream, almost forgetting to stop and losing all the Kanom she sold from the basket on the back of it, and said " Sateeb, Sateeb "(that's me)," John, John" (that's John, my mate), "You know that gardener man at Big Buddha bungalow.....well, he walk on the beach, cleaning you know? And he find a big bag full of money, many many dollar, and he don't know what it is. He say money not Thai, cannot use !! Of course John and I are just sitting there gob smacked holding a beer halfway up to our mouths but somehow unable to proceed with this simple method of delivery..."Yeah", she continues, " and he go see Farang man sitting on the Bungalow, and Farang man say "Vot haf you got in ze bag ?" and the gardener say, I found this foreigner money on the beach in a bag, but cannot use, not Thai. So this guy (God knows what nationality he was) says, "Of course you can use it ! You just change it into Thai Baht you stupid little Dumkopf. Give it to me und I vill change it for you tomorrow morning in ze bank at Nathon. Ven I return you will haf a lot of marks...I mean Thai Baht...Ok, Ja ??" So of course the old Thai gardener readily agrees to this arrangement and hands over the money to this guy, who then leaves the bungalow the next morning without having paid his bill...Some people say he was hit by a pick-up truck outside the Thai Farmers Bank, but others say they saw him in a TV documentary set in Costa Rica....... I guess we'll really never know. And the Thai gardener ? Well. last we heard, he was on a back packing tour of South America looking for the lost El Dorado. By the way, if anyone sees that other bastard, let us know, and we'll send the gardener an E Mail.